7/8/2017 7 Comments The Shave has been braved...It's off and I'm officially a cancer patient, no hiding it now. Not that I tried to hide it but up until the shave I looked well. It made it very real for me and my loved ones. I really wanted it to be a happy as it could be day I wanted my children there. Unfortunately Mia is on holiday with her Dad at the moment so she got sent a picture. Poor little Lamb it's so much for her to accept and take in but she's surrounded by love, I cant ask for more then that. It's very comforting having the full support of your ex's family. Big love to the Bewicks!! The day it's self was as near to perfect as I could have hoped for. We popped the Champagne at 11am and the sun was shining. There is no sky like a Pagham sky. The caravan is my happy place, it's the only place I ever really want to be, my friends know that between March and October I'm away most weekends the half terms and the whole 6 weeks. My Auntie Marg and Uncle Peter brought a van on Church Farm there over 30 years ago I have loved it all my life. The original Champagne soiree was there. My brothers and Mia grew up there, learnt to swim and ride bikes. I've eaten some of the best food there...I could bore you senseless with all the things I love but the sense of community is my favourite thing. The funny thing is we all live pretty close to each other but we all love the caravan so we do our socialising there! My shave day will be another amazing memory and one I will hold close to my heart. I had people who I was comfortable with to share this awful experience. I had arranged for Rory the Tiger to come to the van to cheer the kids up. Choosing to go bald for someone you love like my Mum and little brother Jack has done is extremely brave having no choice is just that. Some women get to keep their hair and a cold cap was offered but I knew from my support group I would lose mine. So I started to plan in my head how and when I would like to do it and thanks to My amazing Bev, Uncle Karl, my darling friend Lauren they sorted it. Kev did what he does best and got on the BBQ. Kerry brought Cherry Bakewell cake Mandy didn't stop clearing up and boiling the kettle. All hosting duties were taken away from me so I could truly relax and prepare myself. My friend Lolsy came down the day before and I was so happy she got to be with me as she ended up with the clippers. Kevin was due to do it but I could see he was fighting the tears, the realisation was sinking in to him as well. We know I have IBC but like I said I looked so well. Mum and Dad were on video call and so we began. Everything was going so well until Bertie came out and saw. I have explained to him several times what was going to happen but he is only 4. He really cried which made me really cry. My worst fear in life is not being able to protect my children and that fear came to life when I got my diagnosis that fear will continue through out my treatment and surgery. Effys earliest memories and possibly only memories of me are going to be of me sick. I hate that. I hate that much so much it's very hard not to let that hate consume me. It's very hard not to break. I love living so much. It really does help knowing I'm not alone. There is a small IBC community and amazingly thanks to Insta I've found 2 absolute goddesses all the way over in America! It really helps receiving all the love and well wishes I get everyday. I have incredible people in my life who at the drop of a hat will have my children or make me dinner or just let me know they are there ready and waiting to catch me. I came home yesterday and walked into a spotless flat! my best friend had been in!! It takes so much pressure off my shoulders. I have my second treatment on Wednesday and I know how rotten I am going to feel it's such a strange feeling dreading the thing that is going to save me. On the bright side that means I only have 2 treatments of the EC chemo left after that I go on another chemo drug which isn't as bad (so I've been told) I do 4 rounds of that then the surgery. I have always dreamt of having these bad boys off but I'm starting to dread that too, Inflammatory Breast Cancer takes everything that makes you a women! We don't get lumpectomy's we get mastectomy's. I get to go into menopause I will have to take oestrogen blockers for the rest of my life which is massive pressure cause I forget to breath sometimes I'm that forgetful!! Thankfully I don't have the mutant gene so my girls hopefully will never go through this themselves! I'm going to share the other thing thats non stop on my mind since the shave in song form.
7 Comments
Denise Armstrong
7/8/2017 01:18:50 pm
Keep being brave, hold your head high and keep smiling even when you dont feel like it.
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Karen/hen
7/8/2017 02:27:37 pm
Love it and the songs you come up with to go along they suit perfectly your a clever girl just like yer Mumma ❤️❤️❤️
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Lolsey
7/8/2017 07:37:28 pm
Beautiful writing as always, sounds weird but I felt honoured to be part of it. Thank you my beautiful friend, you are an insipration xxx
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Simone
7/8/2017 09:25:18 pm
Hi Laura, keep strong and positive I've just gone through it myself second time lost my hair l finished all my treatments in April and my hair is growing back you take care xx
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Karen Butler
8/8/2017 07:18:38 am
Hi Laura
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Carrie
8/8/2017 09:57:28 pm
Such a brave lady, we have been touched by cancer in many ways and it isnt easy.
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Melanie
16/8/2017 03:47:32 pm
Hi Laura
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