3/7/2017 13 Comments The Inconvenience of cancer.This post has been quite hard to start. My life is now a hurdles race and I can't keep up. I have so much information I need to digest things to read, things to sign, I even had to go see the hospital photographer and bare my naked chest to a complete stranger. I bared my soul and my swollen painful bastard tumour filled breast but I did it the only way I know how, with a massive smile and inappropriate humour. I'm not very good at understanding things at the best of times, my Doctor went through treatment plans and all the reasons why I need this Chemo and all I could think was do what the fuck you want just keep me alive! I think its called survival mode but I always lived my life like that anyway. I am a Mum after all, anything but a full recovery and a long life is just not an option. I have to take this moment to apologise to my beautiful friends for not always getting back to your messages please know I appreciate you but understand every time I have to explain whats going on I feel like a fairy dies (like in hook) Its soul destroying and I fear for my soul. Thank fuck you all think I'm so strong because I have no choice but to believe that!! So heres what I know....I had bloods taken for a gene test, I'm such a geek when he said mutant gene I got a bit excited then realised this isn't The X Men and I do not under any circumstance want a mutant gene!! As I said before I had medical pictures taken. I have an appointment next Tuesday for blood tests, you have to have these at least a day before a chemo session when I remember why I'll let you know, I will then get an appointment either Wednesday Thursday or Friday for my first session of chemo, I get an anti sickness injection (fun) and anti sickness pills (more fun) and I'm probably going to get constipated (the fun never ends) I have fuck it attitude to life anyway and this will be no different, getting upset or scared will not make this bastard tumour pack up and leave for the circus. My children will not benefit from a weeping mess of a mother, I have to take this bull by the horns and humanly fuck it off (you know Im against animal cruelty even hypothetically) The thing that I'm finding the hardest is just how inconvenient cancer is! My catchphrase at the moment is 'who will have my kids' My dear friend Hayley has taken school run duties so Bert is covered but it just feels me with guilt because this is my cancer, my stupid inconvenient cancer and now its spilling over into my friends life. My Dad is my cabbie and my Mum is my au pair! I have hospital appointments coming at me thick and fast and all I can think is 'who will have my kids'
13 Comments
Bob F
4/7/2017 07:23:11 pm
Beautifully summed it up; well done. X
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Emma Vickery-Sales
4/7/2017 07:56:39 pm
Fight or flight mode and we all know you are a fighter! Love this blog so raw and truthful. Kisses x
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Laura Carter
4/7/2017 08:15:28 pm
Aloe Vera drink for Chemo Bum, that is all I can offer. 🙈 Lots of love Hun. Xxxx
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Laura Kimber
4/7/2017 08:17:03 pm
Thinking of you lau. Nothing I can say can help but any help when I'm better let me know. Can bring bubba to see you when you're feeling up to it hon xx
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Maxine
4/7/2017 09:47:41 pm
Positive attitude is just you , but it is ok to be angry too very good blog take care Laura xxx
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Old cuz nicky
4/7/2017 10:00:09 pm
My beautiful baby cuz luv ya X ❤️
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Lisa
5/7/2017 05:01:23 am
Im in a quandary!! 😘 Hate that you are doing this blog.....but love that you are doing this blog.
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Karen wheeler
5/7/2017 10:25:37 am
Lots of love darling as always xx
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Caroline Butcher
5/7/2017 10:23:20 pm
Hi Laura, I work with Paula and I'm following your blog - you're being so brave, thank you for allowing us to share this journey with you. Lots of love xx
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Karen O'Neill
10/7/2017 10:34:26 pm
You are a fighter Lau and always have been!!! You can do this shit!!!! 😘😘. Xxxx head up and positive vibes xxx sorry to hear you have to go through this xxx
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Dawn
10/7/2017 11:45:12 pm
Beautifully Written Laura...Sending you and your beautiful family all my love and strength ❤️❤️❤️💙💙
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Bonnie may
11/7/2017 06:27:09 am
Laura get some Manuka honey, once a day it's amazing xx
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Thea
11/7/2017 08:25:14 pm
I will have your kids anytime ♥
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