15/8/2017 7 Comments I am Blessed.....I've been without the trusty laptop for over a week so I've been in my own head more then I like to be. Cycle 2 is done and dusted and has brought a new set of issues to me. Cycle 1 I was just so ill and HOT!! This time less hot more exhausted and emotional, the less I can do the more emotional I am and not having a writing outlet didn't help. Yes I could have taken pen to paper but my words don't flow as easily. In my pit of despair of feeling very sorry for myself, which I am allowing myself I also had some incredible things happen. Joy and love can still be present even when your feeling really shitty! Good things are happening and I am feeling blessed. Like most families money is tight we have 3 children and it can get hard so I thought I'd look for an evening job, well imagine how I felt when I realised I am actually good for nothing. From a little girl I always knew I wanted to be a Mum and a wife. I was told 'is that all?' I couldn't understand how a job I held so high in regard was seen as less then my worth. I didn't do very well at school, I never really settled anywhere. I attended a nursery 3 separate primary school and 2 high schools, I went under the radar and no one really got to know me...or my love of writing. I never read a book at school but when I left and got a job I noticed all the commuters had books so wanting to be a real adult I took myself to Waterstones and it began! I am no mastermind of literature but I know what I like and enjoy it. That is the key, to always enjoy it. I never understood people who live and die by one thing when the human mind is so big and beautiful. Thats why I've always been a different, my mind is an ever changing prism of shapes and colour. I have an ability to always find the silver lining. I will continue that in my cancer battle. Yes I am angry but I can't let that consume me so I will celebrate and worship all those who have fallen to this disease all who have beaten it and all that are fighting it!! I'll give thanks in a backwards way to this cancer for allowing me to start this blog, I love writing it and I love that people like to read it. When I'm poorly my Instagram is my portal to the world my stories keep me sane and I don't feel lonely. People are reaching out to me, my friends are supporting me my family are carrying me! This isn't a private battle this is a public war! When I roll a head scarf and apply my red lips I'm in warrior mode. I feel fierce. Doors are opening not closing. I'm still unsure who that is in the mirror but I like her and I'm getting used to the new me. I am so blessed for that.
7 Comments
Ellie
15/8/2017 09:33:41 am
Best one yet girl. It's crazy how something so horrendous can bring the best out in you, but that's exactly what it's doing. Your blogs are painful yet such a joy to read and I know so many people can relate to them. Keep those words flowing you clever woman! Ellie xxxx
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Sue Whitfiel
15/8/2017 10:03:37 am
I've missed your blogs too. You are supporting us with this!. Although we don't see you in person, this let's us in. This is a splendid blog and you have a real talent. Xx
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Lisa Edgington
15/8/2017 10:12:18 am
We've missed your blog too. I love the new girl I see before me with the head scarf and red lips. She's strong but also vulnerable and she's going to kick this nasty diseases arse. Much love xxx
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Ron & Carole
15/8/2017 10:35:22 am
Much love to you and your family xx
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Emma Vickery-Sales
15/8/2017 05:10:20 pm
It takes a special person to be a fantastic Mother! It's a real blessing to be able to watch every milestone your child
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Bobbi Hana
17/8/2017 03:53:14 pm
Your an amazing person Laura ♡♡♡♡♡
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Karen/hen
18/8/2017 08:49:46 pm
You are a fantastic writer and I for one look forward to reading these blogs very clever witty and well written your amazing My girl ❤️❤️❤️
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