18/8/2017 8 Comments To wig or not to wig?This week has been full of firsts. The thing that blows my mind is I never feel how I thought I would. The day I went for my wig fitting I had an idea in my head that I'd pick something funky and bit outrageous. I'm used to having crazy hair and assumed I'd use this hairless opportunity to be just as creative. We tried a few different styles and colours but it was a brunette fringed bobbed wig that won. I have been that colour and had that haircut. It wasn't what I had when I lost my hair it had been nearly 5 years ago after having Bertie but it felt familiar, like an old friend. I was completely overwhelmed, I couldn't register how I was feeling. I put my head scarf back on and we left. When I showed the kids my new wig Bertie asked has your hair grown back now? The disappointment in his face when I said no was hard to take. I'm comfortably bald at home and in front of my friends and family and I actually really like my head scarves. What I wasn't anticipating was just how self conscious the wig made me. We had gone shopping and I had a bit of a funny turn so I took my scarf off and sat in the car once I felt better I went in another shop with Mum with nothing on my head. Apart from a few sympathetic looks no one battered an eyelid. I was shocked at how ok I felt about it, I just bared my soul and head and it was ok. I felt good. The next day we went out for lunch and I thought I'd wear my wig, I had done bald in public so lets get the wig out of the way! Again if I had to guess how I would have felt in this situation I would have put money on me never going bald in public and being most comfortable in my wig. From the moment I put the wig on I was on high alert. I was worried it would be itchy or hot but it wasn't it was actually really comfortable. Sadly I didn't feel comfortable I felt more vulnerable and exposed then I ever have being bald. It was so hard to explain how I was feeling as yet again my feelings were the total opposite of what I thought they would be. Everyone complimented me and I know myself its a good wig BUT why did I feel so sad? Why am I more comfortable being bald? A teary heart to heart with Mum that night led me to the answer. I have just accepted I am ill. I have accepted my baldness. The wig made me feel like I was hiding that.
8 Comments
Jodie
18/8/2017 11:09:04 am
You looked lovely in your wig and just as gorgeous without it, if not more so. We love you for you and not for what your hair looks like (we would've fallen out a long time ago if that was the case 😘). To me your bald head represents everything you have ever been to me, a courageous, positive, fighting role model ........ long before the bastard C raised its ugly head, you were already all of these things just hiding under hair! You inspire me daily! Keep doing what you're doing and if it's a wig day, a bald day or a head scarf day, just know you rock it!! We love you friend ❤️
Reply
Bobbi
18/8/2017 11:09:06 am
♡
Reply
Sandy
18/8/2017 11:11:53 am
You can do anything you what and do you know why
Reply
Sue Whitfield
18/8/2017 11:30:18 am
Wonderful words as always. I love the big bows and colourful scarves AND the right on red lippy. That is you fighting this. Xxxx
Reply
Lisa Edgington
18/8/2017 11:54:06 am
I love the red lippy, bows and headscarves. It's who you are NOW. Keep fighting my lovely. Big hugs xx
Reply
Stacey
18/8/2017 04:01:27 pm
You are an inspiration to us all wig or no wig! Tie-dye or no tie-dye 😘 You are an AMAZING woman, mummy, friend and I'm so glad to call you my friend love you loads Lau Lau 💕
Reply
Lauren
18/8/2017 05:07:49 pm
Well me personally bloody love the bald head, makes you even more beautiful than normal! It represents your strength and beauty ❤️ love you Lau Lau xx
Reply
Karen wheeler
13/9/2017 11:05:26 am
U strong strong lady
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Archives
October 2017
Categories |