24/8/2017 3 Comments Bertie is 5....My Baby Boy turned 5, I have no idea where those 5 years have gone! With everything thats happening I didn't plan a party or any of the other little things I normally would as I never know how I am going feel. Thanks to my Mum and Kerry I managed to throw a little after noon tea party for him and he had the best day. My day was over shadowed by a cloud, well more like a thunderstorm of anxiety deafening me with it claps of 'what if i don't make his 6th birthday' I'm usually very good at pulling myself out of that dark place but I find it nearly impossible when I think of my children losing me. It's really getting to me and I hold it in because the fear I feel is a physical grip on my wind pipe and it is strangling the life out of me. Thankfully I have the most amazing people around me. Kevin always brings me back with his love, I'm not in this alone. This is our fight we share everything in life and that includes the pain and fear. Despite the thunderstorm nearly ruining my day I did have a moment where I looked round at my family and friends and sighed a little 'we've got this' I looked at my boy in all his birthday glory and my heart melted. My children bring me so much happiness, I am a very lucky lady. I had had a few Kir Royales so obviously that means we go to the club house! Pretty sure it was my bright/stupid idea to get the pink sambucas in....... In true embarrassing parent style we all got the dance floor making complete tits out of ourselves. Being women tho we know our limit-ish and sat out the boys version of whoops up side your head and Saturday night!! And then the most cliché cringe beautiful full of love moment happened. Fight Song came on. Like a scene out of a shit movie we all sang it at the tops of our lungs meaning every word more then we've meant anything in our lives. Even tho everyone was very merry it was just perfection and completely what I needed! I needed to rival the loudness of my own thoughts and I did!! I do have a lot of fight left in me.
3 Comments
Laura Carter
24/8/2017 10:36:09 pm
Darling there must be so much going through your head that you want to get rid of. Sometimes its overwhelming where your thoughts can take you but like you said, when Kevin or you manage to get rid of that bastard cloud, look around you at the love from everyone who knows you. Thinking of you always Hun. Xxxxx
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SID RUDGLEY
25/8/2017 11:21:00 pm
Stay strong & kick & fight .
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Sally Rudgley
4/9/2017 08:04:58 am
I think this song sounds appropriate for the day you had Laura.
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